This year the holidays came very quickly since I was out in Hawaii and then bam! holy moly! it’s Christmas! Normally I like to go shopping and sing along to the carols and embarrass my mom. ;) She knows I can act like an idiot anywhere. But anyways, things just kind of went super fast into Christmas and then it very painful with missing my Dad. Then whoosh, Christmas over. And now new years is over – whoa!! Lots going on behind the scenes so to speak, lots of decisions to be made that need to be considered carefully. Anyways, so gestating all such things and looking forward to being finished with residency interviews – two more weeks!

So this is the first round of holidays after losing my Dad earlier this year to pancreatic cancer. I thought it would be easier than it was – Christmas was a lot harder than Thanksgiving was. I tried to make things a little different this year so it would perhaps be easier, but it just wasn’t. I just really, really missed my Dad. There’s just something about death and it’s finality that my heart was so heavy with longing. My mom is also sad, and it’s hard to watch her suffer and miss my Dad in a way I can’t even begin to understand. We both did the best we could, and we had a fun time together but there’s just this unspoken sadness in the air of just my Dad not being there anymore. Life will go on, and things like this will get easier, but wow – painful.

Happy Holidays everyone :) I hope you have a very happy one whatever you chose to celebrate! I have Christmas and the day after off so I’m particularly lucky :D